I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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