guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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