Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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