He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
