Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
there is puke in my bra ... again
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How naked do you want me to be?
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