so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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