he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
