im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My vagina is officially offended.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
