I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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