Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
