Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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