Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
