I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
