You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
