You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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