My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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