I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
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