Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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