Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No subtext here. People are naked.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
