can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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