I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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