Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
