you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the day after is always just damage control
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
