So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
