Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
