Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
