My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
