1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
