Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
