five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
