hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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