Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
