I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
