Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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