i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
