i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
