it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
