I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just had sex on a roof
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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