the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
