You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
