I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
