Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
