Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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