I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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