Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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