Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
