Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
