I'm passing your future prison.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
