oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
