4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
