idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We are all done wearing pants today
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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